Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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