so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
