this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the day after is always just damage control
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
