ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
