dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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