If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
