i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
