everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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