Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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