Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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