when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
