Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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