I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
