Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
