you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think im going to throw up on grandma
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
