I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
