I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
