I just pynch a tree in the face
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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