Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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