The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
