You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
