remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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