I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
