We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
someone owes me an orgasm
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can you bring me the toilet please
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
