Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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