She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
