somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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