I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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