new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
