jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize