I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cockslap morals
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
