Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
