It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
