i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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