And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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