I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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