Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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