dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The air was thick with penises
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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