Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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