I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
