It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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