How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
