The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
