I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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