I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
