I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
