Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
only if we run a train.
done.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
