so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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