HIV tests are more positive than that guy
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
