By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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