My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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